Dear Bronwyn: Manifestations Of Luck

Welcome to my day job. I am a flight attendant. This has been my career for the past 3 and a half years. For the first year and a half, I would fly around Australia, overnighting in numerous of our wonderful cities. I absolutely loved my job. I had my days where I didn't feel like getting up at 3am, or felt like being home instead of in a hotel in Perth on some weekends, but generally everyday at work was the time of my life.

Early 2008 after much mental preparation and a rigorous interview process, I received the news of my life, saying that I was chosen from a pool of applicants to complete a year long exchange with the Mother to our Aussie company… A British International Airline (I shall leave the name for you to guess)! I would be based in London for a year, and fly to destinations around America, Africa, The Caribbean, and Asia. I remember receiving the phone call saying I had got it. I pulled my car over from a bumper to bumper drive and cried. Uncontrollably! When I got home, I was still uncontrollably crying and shaking. Every inch of my body was experiencing an energy I had never felt an intensity of before. I called my Mum and I remember her voice on the other end concerned, saying "What's wrong? Are you ok?" It took ages to get the words out and when I finally did I cried "I'M GOING TO LONDON!" and cried even more. It took weeks for me to come down of my high!

People my age go to London all the time, so I guess you're wondering why I was so ecstatic about something that sounds as common as getting a sprinkle of hot chocolate on your Cappuccino. The thing is, moving to London had never even crossed my mind. It had never been something that I was yearning to do. But for some funny reason, I knew this experience was right for me, that it would build character (and it did in ways I never even imagined) and be a good way for me to see the world.

I will put it out there and say because of luck, I was successful in being chosen. I only believe this because I subscribe to the idea that luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. Not many people will admit that they are lucky. But I do believe in luck, because I was prepared for this, and I was given the opportunity, it resulted in luck. It is also my personal belief that anyone that experiences good luck, will also experience bad luck. I didn't have as much of an understanding of this at the time, so when I was dealt this opportunity, I didn't think of the after effects that would come with riding down the hill after a trip of good luck.

The year in London was indescribable. It flew by in a whirlwind. It went so quickly that now it feels like it never happened. It feels like it was all just a dream. I had a desirable job. I made the most amazing friends in London, and New York, Paris, Brazil… Everywhere I went I seem to carry a carefree demeanour that had no worries in the world, no real responsibilities, no ticking time bombs. Every day, every country, every holiday, even every work day was an adventure. A time to put myself out there, give my all and take every opportunity I could to network and make worldwide connections, to have fun, and to create memories that would last a life time.

I have been back in Australia for 8 months, and since my return I have not had the best of time settling back in. Perhaps it's an episode of bad luck, or perhaps it is riding the after effects of my good luck. I've even considered the idea that bad luck is only a manifestation of the retrospect of good luck. What are your thoughts on luck?

Everyone who has lived overseas at some point in their life, or even spent an extended period of time in a location that they desired, will be able to relate to the way I have felt . "Displacement syndrome" as one of my friends labelled it.

Having opened up my eyes to the world, and given me a experience that counts beyond my years, A part of me wonders whether I would be more satisfied in life if I had never fed this hunger. Before this tenure, I was slightly hungry to see the world, but not ravished. Now that I have seen the world, I am always ravished, I am greedy, I am hungry, and feel malnutrition being stationed back where it all began, no longer travelling.

I met two of my best friends, Diana and Ceri in London. I believe both were by episodes of good luck. I was prepared to meet them, and the universe dealt me the opportunity, so I struck lucky. On the two instances I met them, both were after I had eaten at a Brick Lane curry house. Whether this has any relevance to luck, or whether it's a random occurrence I will never know.

You see, I had the creature comfort of knowing that I was in the same position as the 20 other flight attendants that I went over to London with. If I lacked support, or felt homesick, I knew that there were 20 other people who I could hang out with. But my intentions were clear from the beginning. To go to England, and not hang out with Australian's, but to make English friends.

Just before I met Diana in January 09, I had forced myself to cut myself from my Australian friends. I was spending too much time relying on the fact that they were there, and because I was overseas a lot with work, I'd not had the opportunity to make the friends I thought I would. The night that I met Diana, I had gone to curry with some Australian friends. I'd given into seeing them because I was feeling alone at the time, I hadn't made the solid friendships I had dreamt about so I think I went for dinner perhaps only for the idea that I thought they would stay out with me, and it would give me a boost of confidence to go and make some new friends. After curry, they announced that they were going home. I begged them to stay out for a few drinks, and this is when I met Diana.

I had lost faith in London at the time. Thinking that nobody in London was friendly, nobody wanted to make friends. On this night, I saw this beautiful girl, and in my half drunken state I left everything behind me, all of my pretences about the world, about London, and I walked up to her and started chatting. The first thing that came out of my mouth was "Wow. You look like Michelle Obama".

This girl could have laughed at me. I was after all wearing a feather in my hair, and a pyjama top as a jacket (as you do when in London!) and what a silly thing to say to her! But it was her birthday, she was happy, she was beautiful, she was lovely, and I later found out, she was in the same position as I was, wanting to make some new friends. We only chatted for about 5 minutes, and as I was about to go back to my friends, she awkwardly said something like "You know what, I don't want this to sound weird, I'm not hitting on you or anything, but I'd really like to swap numbers. I think we should hang out". I felt somewhat restored in the faith of people in London, but I truly believed that she would probably discard of my number and not bother calling to hang out. The next day she messaged me. We first hung out a week or two later, and a few times after that, then a month later we went to Paris for a week, 2 months after that were holidaying in New York.

Diana and Ceri are two of the best friends I have. I will go into how I met Ceri in another post (this is getting too long!!). Even though we're now on the other side of the world, and we only occasionally speak on the phone, we stay in contact almost every day on Facebook, and I still feel such a close bond with them.

The thing is I am now back in my same job, feeling bored, and at point in my life, where I have milked as much satisfaction as I can out of this career. I am moving home to my parent's this April to pay off my debts that I have not been able to tackle since my return, so I will be in control of my finances, and hopefully have more financial freedom pack up and do whatever I desire in the next couple of years. If you spoke to me a year ago, I'd have said I would NEVER move home. But now I'm actually excited to move home. To get out of the city for a while, and clear my head. Reaffirm my goals.

I want to go to university in Sydney for 3 years, and then move to New York for one year (longer if I can find a way of extending the visa!) and then do my working holiday in London. Although a part of me just wants to pack it all up now, and go back to London. I miss Diana and Ceri so much, I know that they will always be in my life, and although they are not the sole driving force in why I would like to go back to London, they are definitely a big consideration in where my life satisfaction is right now. In the friendship side of life, these girls complete me. I know that wherever I go with them, we have this force that allows us to have a great time, be in fulfilling company, and make amazing new friends. The experiences I have shared with them are invaluable. I have never met any two people like them.

I feel like I am in my own little 'Make you own adventure book' at present. I have so many options, but if I could only turn to a page and find out that path's destiny (and be able to turn back and start over if I didn't like it) I would be able to make a firm decision about my future.

I know university isn't the be all and end all for a foot in the door for a career, but i want to go to university. I want to get a Bachelor degree to feel an an accomplishment from this strange academic desire I hold. But I also wonder: What if I complete my degree, and I have no sense of accomplishment at all, and I feel I've wasted 3 years of my life when I could have been having the time of my life in London with my two best friends?

My friend's tell me not to worry so much. I do feel like by going to university and having 3 years to grow as a person might teach me ways to be able to control my powerful thoughts, and turn them into effective thinking, rather than thoughts of worry. I will have to take each day as it comes. If I prepare myself in every way possible, so that when I am provided with the next big opportunity, I will be riding on another wave of good luck. I'm grateful for the good luck I've had so far, without it I wouldn't have met these two great friends. Any bad luck that is a manifestation of the effects of good luck, is simply just this wonderful game called life!