iPad - And we thought iSnack 2.0 was silly!

WARNING: This topic may be sensitive to males.. Possibly even offensive to some females!

There is a lot of content floating around the internet at the moment about Apple's new launch of the iPad. It's a huge trending topic on twitter, marking a huge humiliation for Apple and the branding (note: ingenious) team of 'professionals' that came up with the name iPad.

Some of us fortunate enough to be born without a functioning amygdala gland in our brains may believe that this name is somewhat 'cute'. With a pet frog in town and that thing sounds just like a giant lily pad. Cute right?

For the 99.9% of people who actually have a functioning amygdala gland (the gland in your brain that controls thoughts, fear, memory and human emotions) we can hardly get our minds off the fact that this new piece of Apple technology reminds us of a feminine hygiene product.

I was at a bar in Melbourne last night, when I walked into the bathroom, and found the packaging and remains of a ladies sanitary pad. This got me thinking about preferred methods of hygiene products. Whilst growing up, like most pre-virginised girls, inserting a finger into your own belongings let alone using a tampon was a very daunting task. But in a post-virgin world, most girls can't seem to keep their finger out!

I have discussed the use of tampons versus pads with some girlfriends, and while a few seem to still be stuck in that pre-virgin world, or health conscious of the effects of using a tampon the whole time Auntie Flo is in town, I myself, like most women who prefer the conveniences of the modern world, would never use a pad unless it was the last resort.

As Apple have a lead on the consumer market in technology, I feel many people will just go out and buy a new iPad, without realising the consequences. Like their female hygiene product counterpart, people will soon start to realise that the iPad can do everything that the iTampon can do, and when their iPads are leaking, they'll be wishing that Apple made an iPad with wings.

If Apple actually sold feminine hygiene products, with their foolproof savvy branding, I would say they could probably sell banana's, brand them as a hygiene product, stick an Apple logo on the side, and you have a whole new useless trend of hygiene product.

The void between what my iPhone and my Macbook Pro can do is not going to be filled by this useless iPad.

I even shudder to say the name iPad. Or I feel like tagging 2.0 to the end, to remind us all of that horrible vegemite mistake (that seems to be so miniscule in comparison to this iPad mistake) that was iSnack 2.0

When Apple have mastered augmented reality technology (Read this: http://www.behance.net/mac_fun/frame/591) then I will buy into it. Perhaps by then they will unveil the next generation of iPads: The iBanana (wings an extra $199).

"I wish I was that young again!"

I have a lot of friends who are older than myself. Predominantly in their 30's. When I mention the fact that I am 23 they say "you have plenty of time to figure out what you want to do. I wish I was that young again!"

While comments like these temporarily alleviate of my fears of getting older, and not having ever found the perfect career, life, or love, I still wonder why people that are only ten or so years older than myself, who are in a comfortable career, relationship and position in life are making statements that warrant assumptions that they would take it all away to merely be younger.

If only they remembered what it was like to be 23. Little sense of certainty about the future, and the lacking wealth of knowledge that you will acquire on your way to your 30's.

My Mother once told me that the best years of her life were in her 30's. I've never asked her what her 20's were like. She married young (in fact she had been married 3 years by the age I am now) so I'm guessing that I couldn't really make a comparison between the two of our lives anyway.

The fact that my Mother told me that her 30's were the best, has always stuck in my mind. I think some where along the line, like a game of bad chinese whispers, I misinterpreted this statement as "The 20's will be a long, hard, battle"

While I'm only in my 4th year of my 20's, I've awoken to the fact that the larger parts of life, the things with real responsibilities and consequences replace the little things that used to matter, that used to upset or frustrate me, but that I now realise were insignificant in the scheme of things.

Why is it that as youngsters we always used to drop the toast on the ground (buttered side down of course), we always had scabby knees, got rocks stuck in our shoes, got blood noses, had untied laces, and stepping in dog poo seemed to be an unavoidable occurrence. Why did these things seem to happen almost on a daily basis, yet if any were to happen now it would be a strangely rare event.

What about all of the fun things we used to do, like mixing all the shampoos, body washes, soaps and shaving foam together in one concoction whilst in the bath, putting your head underwater, following an ants trail and looking for four leaf clovers. Why do we not do these things anymore? Where would we even begin to find the time?!

Being younger is to some advantage in figuring out our options, and the direction we want our lives to go. But the sense of responsibility replaced the ability to be completely carefree as soon as we moved out of home. As adults, we sometimes long to be carefree, but we know in doing so it wouldn't be practical as we need to work to make money for rent and pay the bills. In this instance you could say that our lives begin to cease at 20 as much as they do at 30!

Our adult lives do have similarities to our youngster days, for example, by following other species (i.e. men/women!), looking for the perfect career, relationship, life, in lieu of following an ants trails, or looking for four leaf clovers. Same concept, but with complete difference of importance and relevance to our corresponding ages.

Whilst we can search all we like for our career, love and sense of completeness, as an adult in our 20's hopefully we realise by now that preparation pays off more than luck. Finding a four leaf clover is sheer luck. We had the time to spend hours searching for one when we had no responsibility or time concerns. If we wanted to find a four leaf clover now, I would say that half of us wouldn't even bother, and the other half would pay somebody to look for them! It seems nothing in our adult lives appears by sheer luck. A philosopher named Seneca, once said that "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity."

So for now in our 20's, I guess all we can do is prepare for the years ahead and wait for the right opportunities to arise. Then I am certain, that the 30's will be the luckiest decade of our lives, and hopefully we won't be wishing that we were younger, like my superiorly aged friends!

Dear Marc

This is a letter I wrote to a dear friend of mine at the end of 2009. He had posted a blog that highlighted the good the bad, and the people and events that shaped his 2009. It made me smile that he even thought to make mention of me.

The universe had thrown him quite a lot of unfortunate things during the year, and in times when an ordinary person may have lost hope, he found a way of holding it (and everyone else) together. He is a great friend and a great inspiration in my life, and I felt it was important to let him know this.

My dear Marc...

That note you wrote really made me laugh and smile! I love how reflective everyone gets as the New Year approaches. So I just wanted to reflect a bit on what you mean to me.

I know we have a funny little friendship, seeing bits of each other here and there, but in some funny way it works. I know that if everything in my life were to crash and fall, you would be one of the first friends I would go running to, and I know for certain that you would be there for me.

I have been going through a bit of a rough time since being back from London, and I just keep thinking about this year hasn't been so great for yourself, you have lost one of your closest friends, you have had the most amazing experience travelling Europe, only to come back home where the grass doesn't seem so green.

It's tough settling back into home, or adjusting to a big change, especially losing someone close in your life, but you Marc, always seem to pull through! You are much stronger than you think at times!

I just wanted to let you know that you always inspire me. Sometimes I don't feel like getting out of bed, and I will look at your facebook, and see that no matter how good or shit of a time you are going through you will always make an effort to get out and life live (and look fabulous doing so!)

I really admire you as a person, and a friend, because if you are not happy with something, you don't waste your days doing it. This is why I guess you are constantly looking for a job!! But I love that you won't spend your days doing something you don't love and I am confident that in 2010, because of all the people you have touched and inspire everyday, good things will come your way.

xxx

Much love, and here's to more fun times in 2010..

Emerson

Dear Bronwyn

Dear Bronwyn,

I am writing this letter in regards to your concern of the music played on a very infrequent basis, and the private social conversations that take place within our private household at XX XXXXXX Road.

On Tuesday January 21, you abruptly addressed me about the chatter and music that was emitting from my household. This was shortly before 3.30pm which was the time that the police you had called arrived. I feel that the comments that you made to me were inappropriate, and rather ill-natured.

When my companion suggested that we stand across the street, outside of your house to see if we could hear the music, you commented that we were "young and desensitised to the music." I feel that this comment was quite misconstrued as you have absolutely no knowledge of my health and the precautions that I take to preserve my hearing. Being 'young' does not mean that our hearing is less competent than any other individual of any other age.

My housemate and I are both mid-late 20's, and labelling us to be 'young', does not automatically warrant an assumption that our lifestyles are inconsiderate, irresponsible, or damaging to our health and hearing.

I have worked in the airline industry for several years, and I am more than educated in how to practice and adopt safe hearing practices. Being that my hearing is integral to my career, I ensure that I take very cautious measures not to damage it.

We will ensure to be more considerate in the future, especially during times within the prohibited hours, however I feel that our music was not considered to be unreasonable, and if the police had found it to be so they would have undertaken further action. I also feel that it is more than reasonable to be able to partake in social conversation within my own residence at a reasonable time of the afternoon.

I would appreciate that if you do have any concerns in the future with our noise levels, that you take professionality in your actions. Comments based on a fictional assumption constitute as a very serious form of defamation of character.

From the residents of XX XXXXXX Road